Cook-Out: I Want to Be on the Radio (Richmond, VA)

I think I should be a radio show host or something. People are always telling me that I “have the face for radio” which I understand is a compliment. I think I can totally do it, I’ve listened to the radio plenty of times and I bet I can do the radio voices pretty damn well. Listen to this, “you’re listening to KKTY 98.4, home of skeeter and the beez, now it’s time for the rush hour grab bag giveaway, we’ve got tickets to (somewhere, I don’t know where youngsters go for concerts) when you hear the tiger growl on air be the tenth caller and those tickets are yours.” If you read that in an awesome radio voice, that is how I will sound. Also, I must stress that in that scenario I would be Skeeter, not the Beez, I play second fiddle to no one. I wouldn’t mind if I was the late night guy, that would be cool. Sure I would get off at like 3am, but thats fine. I know a place that’s still tasty even though its fast food open til 4am. The fast food part wouldn’t bother me, since everyone on the radio is fat, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. When I get off my shift, I’ll just swing over to Cook Out for some grub.

Cook Out is a chain that started in North Carolina, or so I’m told. They have hamburgers, BBQ, chicken sandwiches, hushpuppies, quesadillas etc. None of these things are too terribly amazing. But Cook Out does have an ace up it’s sleeve, their garbage cheap prices. I frequently go there and feed on a shameful array of fried items, only to chuckle with greasy delight when I am presented with my tiny bill. I know not what diabolical means by which they are able to obtain these fantastic bargains, I suspect I would rather not know. What I do know is that nothing is better in the middle of the night than a drunken Cook Out run, especially when the bill is like $4 for everything.

Oh, I almost forgot, Cook Out features about 30 different kinds of milkshakes. Everything from Oreo to strawberry banana, mint, chocolate fudge, and more. I have tried a few different kinds, until I tried banana pudding flavor. Since then, I have been too hesitant to try anything else. I will make myself clear: banana pudding is the best Cook Out milkshake flavor and if you disagree fuck you.

I don’t think I’ve been here at anything close to a reasonable hour, around that time there are just too many options. Yet when its in the wee hours of the night, and you need to get your fatty on, Cook Out will be there for you.